The ridiculous number of times NJ appears on ‘Top 100 Pizza Spots’ list
A new list is out that ranks the top 100 pizza spots in America and New Jersey appears a grand total of one time.
Yes, once.
Even worse, New York has two places in the top ten and nearly a dozen on the entire list.
What bullsh** is that?!
Yelp has released their "Top 100 Pizza Spots according to Yelp Elites 2024" rankings that, apparently, allowed people who have never had good pizza (ever) to offer their unqualified opinions on the topic.
Their methodology was pretty simple: "We identified businesses in the pizza category on Yelp, then ranked those spots using a number of factors, including the total volume and number of 5-star reviews each business had that were written by members of the Yelp Elite Squad."
Do you really want "elitists" scoring pizza? No, damn it. You want real people offering their opinions, not a bunch of phony foodies who believe their opinions are superior to everyone else.
Here are the top five:
- Pequod’s Pizzeria - Chicago
- Bestia - Los Angeles
- Lombardi’s Pizza - New York
- Mama D’s Italian Kitchen - Newport Beach, CA
- Base Camp Pizza Co. - South Lake Tahoe, CA
While those establishments likely have amazing pizza, it's not "real" pizza like you can find here in the Garden State.
The executive chef at Bestia, for example, who worked at a bunch of fancy-sounding restaurants under some other big-named chef, says "We ferment our dough for 3 days to develop a flavor that’s sweet and slightly sour."
Guess what? No one cares. Is that what you want in a pizza? No.
For pizza in the Garden State, you want one of two things: either a guy throwing around some dough in a pizza spot on any Jersey boardwalk in the middle of summer, or you want pizza from a little mom-and-pop place that's been around forever.
I really don't want your gorgonzola pizza with broccoli di Ciccio, mozzarella, Grana Padano, green peppercorn, olive oil, and sea salt. I want a slice of pizza that has a 50-50 chance of being grabbed by a seagull on a boardwalk.
Some place in Hawaii ranked #9 on this list. They say, "We use wood from a kiawe tree" to give their dough a "mesquite-smokey flavor."
That's fantastic — but guess what? I was just behind a teenager driving a 2014 Honda Civic with an exhaust problem on Route 9 to get my pizza here in New Jersey. And the pizza here is gonna be a hell of a lot better.
These "Yelp elites" believe there is better pizza to be found in the culinary hotspots of Anchorage, Alaska; Wilton Manors, Florida; and Moab, Utah, instead of New Jersey.
Bullsh**, I say.
As for the lone Jersey pizza spot that appeared on this bogus list, that would be Razza in Jersey City, which ranked #87.
So do yourself a favor: the next time you want good pizza, forget Yelp. Ask anybody who has lived in New Jersey for more than a week and you'll get at least half a dozen really good spots to try.
Here's a taste of the NJ pizza joints Dave Portnoy has reviewed
Gallery Credit: Joe Votruba
